A while back, I watched Game Theory’s video on Among Us strategies because I realized I was a wayy too reckless imposter. At the end of the video, he mentioned that there will always be people in real life trying to sell us on something that they’re not. That stuck with me and got me thinking about “imposters” hiding in everyday life.
I should clarify that we’re all human and we’re not perfect. We mess up, and that’s how it is! However, these “imposters” I refer to are people who demonstrate clear patterns. Most of the time, they know full well what they’re doing and will not change no matter how many times they’re called out. These people are the fake friends, toxic colleagues, and narcissists who claim to be one thing, but are really something else entirely.
1. They make claims about their core values, but only seem to abide by them when it’s convenient
Do they say they value honesty but you’ve seen them say things they don’t actually mean to get what they want? Do they say they value kindness only to turn around and slander someone behind their backs? Do they say they value self-improvement but prove time and time again that they’re unwilling to change?
If something is so important to us that it becomes a core value, we should abide by it even when the situation is difficult. If we go out there and make claims, we should be able to back it up most of the time, right?
Well, not for the daily life imposters! They’ll make all these declarations to impress someone, but they don’t have any proof to back it up. Kind of like when you meet someone and think “wow, they seem like an awesome person!” and then you go on a first date with them and realize that they were just posturing.
2. They consistently prove that they’re not actually listening
Some people say that we should listen more than we talk, but I personally think that it’s best to have a balance of the two. I want to be able to express myself clearly while also being sensitive to the other person.
When we talk to someone enough, we learn things about them. We learn about their hobbies, what they like and dislike, their goals for the future, particular quirks they have, and stories from their lives.
But that’s not the case for daily life imposters! Not only do they talk twice as much as they listen, they prove themselves incapable of retaining information! You find yourself reiterating the same things over and over to them. And every single time you repeat yourself, it feels like it’s news to them. Which brings me to my next point…
3. They’re very defensive when faced with a disagreement
Any disagreement with them, big or small, is met with defensiveness. Even if you try your best to express yourself kindly, you end up running out of patience. Maybe this is because you had that disagreement with them multiple times, suggested how to move past it multiple times, only to have the same exact conflict again. Maybe this is because it takes so much back and forth to get them to understand where you’re coming from.
They have no lack of excuses. For every point you make, they will have an excuse. They will always, always, always make excuses under the guise of “explaining their side” instead of coming in with an open mind. Even when they apologize for being in the wrong or for the way they made you feel, the apology is disingenuous because of how much teeth pulling it took.
4. They can’t pull themselves together when it’s time to boss up (just like how imposters can’t do tasks)
There are several variations of this. Workplace imposters can’t perform because they literally don’t have the skills and expertise that they say they do. Imposters in your personal life consistently fall through with promises they make. Daily life imposters may also take leadership roles to satisfy their ego, but when it’s time to prove themselves worthy of leadership, they never seem to be able to do it.
There’s a massive gap between the person they claim to be and the person they show themselves to be through their actions. They know how to talk themselves up and be persuasive about it too, but if you stick around them long enough, you’ll see they’re not who they say they are.
At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves the same questions. Have I went back on my core values when the situation wasn’t convenient? Have I been truly listening to my loved ones or am I talking about myself too much? Did I react defensively when somebody approached me with an issue? Have a dropped the ball on a promise I made? We’re in no place to judge others if we don’t self reflect.
The reason why I make these types of posts is to promote growth while being kind to ourselves and the people around us. We weren’t the same people we were five years ago. Five years from now, we could be entirely different. The world is huge place and there’s a lot I don’t know, but I want to keep changing while spreading the message.